Unveling more mysteries

 Perhaps not many students of science in India have heard of George R Price, the die-hard atheist scientist (population geneticist) who published in journals like Nature and Science...the only Nature paper that does not have a single reference...and yet his findings led him to believe in God. However, the scientist in him, died with him, when he ultimately committed suicide out of the frustration of being unable to prove his theory right or wrong.

Perhaps the more positive story is that of  C. S Lewis, the author of The Chronicles of Narnia, who was another die-hard atheist that ended up believing in God.

I'm neither Price nor Lewis but I have my reasons. I'm possibly still agnostic. My agnosticism may however be closer to Jesusism. Despite all the Christianity-bashing around the world, Jesus always has fascinated me (unlike many—though not all—Christians I've come in contact with).
  After watching the series Ancient Aliens that talks about all the Gods/Goddesses of all religions, including Jesus, as having links to alien life, I shy away even further from topics of Divinity. Should I laugh at the series Ancient Aliens? Well sometimes I do giggle watching it but then my years in science also make me respect the fact that there still are many relics of the past that are completely unexplained to this day. So for just that reason, I mock not, for some day, we will know how all that happened. Therein comes the element of uncertainty and mystery that I did not respect earlier.

  As a soon-to-be father, I'm fascinated at the complex mechanics of development and birth across the whole living system. I love the fact that science strives to know about the enormous complexity of how these things happen. Yet the more we know, the more there is to know further. Despite the fact that science is in love with mystery with the possibly the sole purpose of solving it, there are mysteries in a person's life that aren't solvable by a scientific formulae. Although studies are and have been conducted in every possible area of psychology, I'm unsure if living ones life totally using that knowledge it keep a person sane. So I don't quite militate against uncertainty. I came across a quote recently and loved it:

“Embrace relational uncertainty. It's called romance. Embrace spiritual uncertainty. It's called mystery. Embrace occupational uncertainty. It's called destiny. Embrace emotional uncertainty. It's called joy. Embrace intellectual uncertainty. It's called revelation.”
― Mark Batterson 

  The sarcastic/sceptic side of me feels like blasting the quote and make it sound like a joke but the other side finds a reassuring calmness in it. I've begun to realize that we needn't necessarily live in the pretence of omniscience and laugh at everything to be happy. I found a comment by someone named Robin Percival, on a very interesting post  in The Guardian, and I kinda empathize with people like that. He (or she) wrote:

"...For us the Christian story is the one told in the New Testament. It tells of Jesus as an outcast who lived and worked with other outcasts and who ultimately paid with his life because he challenged the rich and powerful of his time, including the religious leaders. Allegory or not, it is still challenging stuff for those willing to listen."

That's the Jesus, the iconoclast, that fascinates me.

These 4 walls

I'm gonna leave these 4 walls soon. When I came here I was 11 years old and so short that I couldn't see myself in the bathroom mirror that was placed a bit high. I had to jump to see my face for that fraction of a second that I was high enough, then comb my hair after landing and then jump up again to see if I got it right (and the process went on till my hair were combed). At 35 I'm hardly left with any hair on my head. It's been a long time. 24 years ago I entered this place and made this room mine. I cleared the table, dusted the room, rolled out the folding bed and christened it my Den. I'm the only one left in the neighbourhood from those days.
 Within these 4 walls I grew and matured. It's time to leave and I've never felt so nostalgic about anything ever the way I feel for this room and even this home. Fare thee well my room in my father's home, I'll never return and stay like I stay here now. I leave with my partner with a wish to make my own home someday and have place for my parents too.
I came, I changed and I changed you; you'll be in my heart. You'll probably not belong to our family forever but thank you for sheltering us all these years, this broken family that still hangs to each other by unbreakable chords of love. Last but not least thank you God everything we have; give me strength to learn, love and forgive.